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Welcome to the Caregiver Forum!
This is the place to connect with others who are on the same caregiver journey as you. Here, you can share your experiences, find support, or just chat with others who truly understand the hardship and, yes, even the occasional joy of being a caregiver.
This community is here to provide you with the emotional support and practical advice you need. Feel free to ask questions, share your stories, and offer advice based on your own experiences.
Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Our f...
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Showing 1 - 10 of 51 active discussions
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Mom is sleeping almost all day — should I be concerned?
My mother has moderate dementia and over the past week she has started sleeping much more than usual. She used to get up around 8:00 every morning, but now she sometimes sleeps until noon and takes several naps during the afternoon. When she is awake, she seems about as alert as she normally is, and she is still eating and drinking. Is increased sleep something that can happen as dementia progresses, or is a sudden change like this something I should call her doctor about?
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How do I get Dad to shower without an argument?
My dad has dementia and has recently started refusing to shower or change his clothes. He gets upset whenever I bring it up and tells me that he already showered, even when I know he hasn't. I've tried reminding him, giving him choices, and waiting until later in the day, but we still end up arguing about it. Has anyone found a way to help with personal care without making their loved one feel embarrassed or like they're being bossed around?
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Mom doesn't know who I am anymore
My mother has started calling me by her sister's name and sometimes seems to think I'm someone who works at the house rather than her daughter. I know intellectually that this is the disease and that she isn't choosing to forget me, but it still hurts more than I expected. Sometimes I correct her and other times I just go along with what she seems to believe because I don't want to upset her. How do other family members handle the emotional side of being forgotten by someone they love?
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How do you take care of yourself without feeling selfish?
I know everyone says caregivers need to take care of themselves, but I'm having a hard time understanding what that actually looks like. Between medications, appointments, meals, and helping my wife get through the day, I feel like there is always something else that needs to be done. When I do take an afternoon for myself, I spend most of it feeling guilty that I should be home with her. How have other caregivers learned to take care of themselves without feeling like they're putting their own...
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How do you find respite care that you can actually trust?
I've been caring for my mother at home and haven't had a real break in months. My siblings help when they can, but everyone has jobs and families of their own, so most of the day-to-day responsibility falls on me. I know respite care exists, but I'm nervous about leaving Mom with someone she doesn't know and I'm not sure where to start looking for reputable services. How have other families found trustworthy respite care, and what questions should I ask before bringing someone into the home?
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When should our family start talking about financial planning?
My father was recently diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer's, and thankfully he is still able to make most of his own decisions. My brother thinks we should immediately start handling his finances for him, but I don't think we should take away his independence while he can still manage things himself. At the same time, I'm worried that we will wait too long and make things much harder later. What legal and financial issues should families start addressing while their loved one can still partici...
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What activities can I do with my husband that he can still enjoy?
My husband used to love woodworking, gardening, and working on cars, but his dementia has progressed to the point where those activities aren't safe for him anymore. I don't want to spend every afternoon watching television because I know he enjoys feeling useful and having something to do. I've tried puzzles and coloring books, but he loses interest pretty quickly. What are some simple activities that have worked well for people with dementia who still want to stay active and involved?
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What technology actually helps keep a loved one safe at home?
My father still lives at home, but his dementia is progressing and we're becoming increasingly concerned about him wandering or forgetting to lock the doors. My siblings and I don't live close enough to check on him throughout the day, so we're looking at things like door sensors, medication reminders, cameras, and GPS devices. There are so many products available that we're having trouble figuring out what is actually useful versus what just creates more stress. What technology has genuinely ma...
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Is this part of dementia or is something else going on?
My wife has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's for about two years, and lately I've noticed that she seems to have good days and bad days. Some mornings she carries on a perfectly normal conversation, while other days she seems confused about where she is and doesn't recognize familiar things. I understand that dementia can fluctuate, but sometimes the changes seem so dramatic that I wonder whether I'm missing something else. Is this kind of day-to-day variation common, and what should I be watchin...
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My mother doesn't seem interested in eating anymore
My mother has dementia and has gradually become less interested in meals. She will sometimes eat a few bites and then say she's finished, although she used to have a very good appetite. We've tried smaller meals and foods she particularly likes, but I'm worried that she's not getting enough nutrition or fluids. At what point should I bring this up with her doctor, and are there strategies that have helped other caregivers encourage eating without turning every meal into a battle?
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