Pat's Gameplan | Caring for the Caregivers

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Welcome to the Caregiver Forum!

This is the place to connect with others who are on the same caregiver journey as you. Here, you can share your experiences, find support, or just chat with others who truly understand the hardship and, yes, even the occasional joy of being a caregiver. This community is here to provide you with the emotional support and practical advice you need. Feel free to ask questions, share your stories, and offer advice based on your own experiences. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Our f... more

Posted by: Pat's Gameplan

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Sarah Mitchell 2 years ago

Happy to be here! Love the Share My Story videos the most!

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Lisa Johnson 2 years ago

Thank you for creating such a great place for us to connect!

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Claude Turner 1 year ago

Grateful to be here. I am the newest caregiver for my brother Ronald. I never dreamed this would happen. But every single day is a new adventure. Looking forward to connecting!

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Pavel Lesh 1 year ago

This site has so much value! Thanks Pat Summitt Team for what you have done!

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Cassie Deaner 1 year ago

This site, and sites like it are sooooooo needed!

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Susan Edwards 1 year ago

Thrilled to have found this community!

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Derek Thomas 1 year ago

Thrilled to have found a community like this.

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Zander Thompson 1 year ago

One of the best communities with resources that I have found. Thanks everyone who is behind the scenes.

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Tabitha Stevens 1 year ago

The resources on this site are EXACTLY what we've been looking for. This is the best kept secret that EVERYONE needs to know about!

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Taylor Kenney 1 year ago

This community needs anywhere that can provide answers. This journey is anything but easy.

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Marvin Lethers 8 months ago

Great Resource!

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Anonymous 1 week ago

Love the videos, and discussions on this site! Thanks Pat's Gameplan!

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All Topics General Caregiving Tips Emotional Support Medical Questions Resources Activities Nutrition Legal & Financial Technology Self-Care

Showing 21 - 30 of 51 active discussions

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Feeling Overwhelmed - Need Support

I've been caring for my mom for 3 years now and lately I'm feeling completely exhausted. Between work, caregiving, and trying to maintain my own life, I feel like I'm drowning. How do you all manage the emotional toll? I know I need to take care of myself but I feel guilty whenever I take a break.

Posted by: Anonymous on December 9th, 2025 emotional support

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Anonymous 8 months ago

You're not alone in feeling this way. I found that even 10 minutes of meditation each morning helps me reset. And please don't feel guilty about needing breaks - you can't pour from an empty cup. Sending you strength!

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Dealing with Sundowning Syndrome

My father experiences increased confusion and agitation in the evenings. His doctor called it sundowning. We've tried keeping lights on and maintaining a calm environment. Has anyone found other effective strategies? It's really challenging for our family.

Posted by: Anonymous on December 9th, 2025 medical questions

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Anonymous 8 months ago

We experienced this too. Our neurologist recommended avoiding afternoon naps and increasing light exposure during the day. Also, a small snack and calming music in the evening seems to help.

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Tips for Managing Daily Routines

I wanted to share some strategies that have helped me maintain a consistent daily routine for my mother who has dementia. Creating a structured schedule has really reduced her anxiety. What routines have worked for you?

Posted by: Anonymous on December 9th, 2025 caregiving tips

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Anonymous 8 months ago

Visual schedules have been a game changer for us! We use a whiteboard with pictures showing each part of the day. Mom seems less anxious when she can see what comes next.

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Anonymous 8 months ago

We keep the same routine every single day - breakfast at 8, walk at 10, lunch at noon. The predictability really helps. Also, we involve Dad in simple tasks like folding laundry which gives him purpose.

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🦃 Happy Thanksgiving from Pat’s Gameplan

As Thanksgiving approaches, we want to take a moment to honor you — the caregivers who give so much of yourselves every single day. This season can feel different when you’re caring for a loved one. Traditions may change. Guest lists may be smaller. Schedules may look nothing like they used to. And that’s okay. We’d love to hear from you. 💬 Tell us in the comments: What will be different about your Thanksgiving this year? Are you starting any new traditions? What is one thing... more

Posted by: Pats Gameplan on November 25th, 2025

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Deliah Jacobs 8 months ago

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! For us this is a very different and new year, this is the 1st year we will have Dad's nurse with us for Thanksgiving. We are thankful for another year!

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When is it time?

Love the website, lots of great content. The Share My Story videos are my very favorite. I am caring for my FIL, who honestly fades in and out of reality at this point. What are the markers, or indicators that a facility with memory care is needed?

Posted by: Patty Teague on November 21st, 2025

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Marvin Lethers 8 months ago

Can you get him into assisted living first? For us, we transitioned into assisted living, then let the assisted living staff work with him (and us) to make that transition.

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It's been harder than I thought it would be!

Hello everyone, my name is Barbara and I’m grateful to be here. I live in southern Louisiana with my husband and our three kids, and for the past three years I’ve also been a full-time caregiver to my father-in-law, Larry. He was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s at 67 and now, at 71, we’re starting to see deeper cognitive decline. This forum feels like a lifeline — a space where people like me, who are doing the best they can with very little guidance, can finally ask questions without fea... Hello everyone, my name is Barbara and I’m grateful to be here. I live in southern Louisiana with my husband and our three kids, and for the past three years I’ve also been a full-time caregiver to my father-in-law, Larry. He was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s at 67 and now, at 71, we’re starting to see deeper cognitive decline. This forum feels like a lifeline — a space where people like me, who are doing the best they can with very little guidance, can finally ask questions without fear of judgment. One of the hardest transitions we’ve faced so far has been helping Larry let go of managing the family finances. For over 40 years, he balanced the books and paid every bill by hand. Giving up the checkbook felt like losing a piece of his identity, and it took months of gentle conversations, misplaced payments, and tearful standoffs before he reluctantly handed over the reins. I still second-guess myself sometimes — am I protecting his dignity or just pushing him too fast? At the same time, I’ve been knee-deep in the maze of Medicare, Medicaid, and Part D prescription plans. Trying to plan for long-term care with so many conflicting policies and denials has been overwhelming. It’s like learning a new language while putting out daily fires. I’m reaching out here because I know I’m not the only one walking this road. If you’ve been through the financial transition with a loved one, how did you navigate it without causing heartbreak or resentment? How do you plan for what’s ahead when the rules keep changing? I just want to say how helpful the Financial Care section on the Learn page has been — it’s the first time I’ve seen practical, step-by-step advice that didn’t make me feel like I needed a law degree to understand. Thank you for making space for caregivers like me. I’m really looking forward to learning from you all. Hello everyone, my name is Barbara and I’m grateful to be here. I live in southern Louisiana with my husband and our three kids, and for the past three years I’ve also been a full-time caregiver to my father-in-law, Larry. He was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s at 67 and now, at 71, we’re starting to see deeper cognitive decline. This forum feels like a lifeline — a space where people like me, who are doing the best they can with very little guidance, can finally ask questions without fear of judgment. One of the hardest transitions we’ve faced so far has been helping Larry let go of managing the family finances. For over 40 years, he balanced the books and paid every bill by hand. Giving up the checkbook felt like losing a piece of his identity, and it took months of gentle conversations, misplaced payments, and tearful standoffs before he reluctantly handed over the reins. I still second-guess myself sometimes — am I protecting his dignity or just pushing him too fast? At the same time, I’ve been knee-deep in the maze of Medicare, Medicaid, and Part D prescription plans. Trying to plan for long-term care with so many conflicting policies and denials has been overwhelming. It’s like learning a new language while putting out daily fires. I’m reaching out here because I know I’m not the only one walking this road. If you’ve been through the financial transition with a loved one, how did you navigate it without causing heartbreak or resentment? How do you plan for what’s ahead when the rules keep changing? I just want to say how helpful the Financial Care section on the Learn page has been — it’s the first time I’ve seen practical, step-by-step advice that didn’t make me feel like I needed a law degree to understand. Thank you for making space for caregivers like me. I’m really looking forward to learning from you all. more

Posted by: Barbara Womack on August 4th, 2025

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Anyone else's emotions all over the map?

Lately, I’ve found myself struggling with a wave of emotions I didn’t expect—especially anger. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve been snapping at my husband over the little things. He asks me the same question again and again, and instead of calmly repeating the answer, I lose my patience. When he was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I was able to stay calm, grounded, and full of compassion. I thought I had a handle on it. But now... now I feel like I’m the one falling apart. It’s confusing beca... more

Posted by: Sandy Travers on July 9th, 2025

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Kathryn 10 months ago

Caregiving is heavy It's hard, messy, awful, rewarding, beautiful, and about every other thing you can think of depending on the day and time. You are not alone and I think a lot of us struggle with that feeling. Even though we love the ones we are caring for, it doesn't really make it easier. It might make it harder because we know exactly who they were. Just allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up and then try to let them go. Try not to let the emotional rollercoaster get to you. Along the way, you'll feel it all. And I say that because though it will be hard, there are also moments of great reward. Hang in there.

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Caring for FIL who refuses to shower

Just as the title states. I am the main caregiver for my father in law and in the past 5 days he has fully refused to shower. He keeps telling me that he doesn't need to shower because he "just took one", there isn't any amount of reasoning I can do to convince him otherwise. This is a new problem, but I can only see it leading to his placement in a memory care facility. Has anyone experienced this?

Posted by: Taylor Kenney on June 15th, 2025

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Barbara Womack 1 year ago

Yes, this is one of the most difficult things!

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Treatment Options?

I am currently caring form my father who was diagnosed with early onset dementia. I am reading about several treatment options that others have pursued. Specifically we are interested in any experience anyone has had with Kisunla. We would also be interested in another treatments that anyone has experienced and their experiences whether positive or negative.

Posted by: Harold Nedder on May 26th, 2025

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Taylor Kenney 1 year ago

I am the caregiver for my FIL, he is currently taking Rivastigmine, Memantine and Risperidone, but I believe these are pre-existing conditions and not intended to cure ALZ.

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Marvin Lethers 8 months ago

I had no idea there were medications available.

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Is a dog a good idea?

I'm caring for my FIL and we are struggling to get to daily exercise every day. I was thinking if we could get a dog that would give us a reason to exercise daily. Is this a good idea? Overall what are the expectations of someone with dementia? Does the dog work well or would this be something that he may come to resent? Looking forward to hearing your experiences.

Posted by: John McGhee on April 28th, 2025

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Taylor Kenney 1 year ago

In my opinion I would say Noooooooo!!!!! to getting a pet. This disease progresses so quickly that a dog is the last thing anyone will need and it can only add complications to what is already happening.

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Barbara Womack 1 year ago

A dog is always a great idea.

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Welcome to the Caregiver Forum!

Feeling Overwhelmed - Need Support

Dealing with Sundowning Syndrome

Tips for Managing Daily Routines

🦃 Happy Thanksgiving from Pat’s Gameplan

When is it time?

It's been harder than I thought it would be!

Anyone else's emotions all over the map?

Caring for FIL who refuses to shower

Treatment Options?

Is a dog a good idea?

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